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This little tank was a tough little cookie, but we worked it out. He was just about 2 weeks old and ready to see the world. The idea of sleeping during the photo session his mother drove nearly 3 hours to get too was not going to happen! There was just too much of this great big world to see, and he has big glassy brown eyes to check it all out with. Even though sleeping was not on his agenda, and he was not the most flexible little guy (already holding his head straight up at 2 weeks old) we still ended up getting pretty cool images.

Click Play :)

Happy B-day Aunt Meme from marta locklear on Vimeo.

I needed something out of my van this morning, and the long arduous task of tackling all my stairs and the small mountain that is my driveway was just too much to bear, so I sent my very willing 10 year old out for me. On her way back in her cheeks were puffed, bottom lip pouted out and puddles of water in her eyes. My daughter does not cry often…she takes after her mommy in that way, so when she does, I know something got to her. I asked what happened while considering every possible thing that might of happened between my front door and the van. “Ginger killed a baby lizard….I was trying to help it across the driveway and she stepped on it”. Now Ginger is our very  large German Shepheard…I call her my Oaf …she is big, happy and Oaffy. “Are you sure it was dead…maybe she just hurt it”. She explained that it did move and then stopped, so I assured her that maybe it was just injured and I would go check it out.

So I slide on my Flip Flops, grab the camera off the table (could be a potential photo op) and brace myself for the stairs. All for a little lizard and my daughters peace of mind. She bounds out ahead of me, and I worry that it was left unattended and the dogs probably already found it and begain having their fun with it. But to my relief she squeeled at me as I made it around the corner that it had crawled across the driveway and was on it’s way to it’s way to his wooded sanctuary. He was fine and he was not a lizard…but a Salamander.

I grew up with tons of animals. And I had a dad that was so cool about bringing home critters for us to see, touch and play with. Snakes, lizards, little furry things, even snapping turtles! And against my husbands and mother in laws wishes I believe on raising my kids the same way. They don’t know to be afraid unless you tell them they need to be. If you show them the wonder in natures creatures they can explore them and see just how amazing they are.

So I scooped up the little guy on a fallen Magnolia leaf and tipped him towards my hand to inspect him for injurys. He was fine…a little in shock, but fine. I asked my son if he wanted to hold him (knowing he would, but it had been a while since the last) and he did. Here is our first spring time friend. He made his rounds scrolling the mini hills of our hands and forarms and then deposited in a nice wet dark muddly spot…perfect for a little Salamander.

A little fluffy, calico covered, munchkin sized pillow. This little gem instantly makes you want to squeeze it and press your cheek into it, sending you into a world where you are little again and this is a perfect sized pillow for you.

Every time I have been gifted this tot sized pillow was not for the moments of childhood time travel, but for pain and comfort all in the same. This morning I had my fourth surgery in my 33 years….and received my fourth Volunteer made pillow to ease my pain when the arduous tasks of sneezing, coughing or even laughter come upon me. The first three pillows came with the birth of each of my children via c-sections. And eventually became the prized possessions of a toddler. Today the 3rd still floats around the house with the occasional tiny cheek pressed into its tiny goodness.

Guys: beware this is girl talk…so unless you can hack it…you may want to relocate your readings to ESPN.

As some of you know from my first post The Sun is Different Today and Anwers….and Fears that I have been having some physical problems. This morning I had Laproscopy a type of exploratory surgery to get the final results of my “issues”. The procedure today was totally different than my other three. It was minor, way less invasive and without the gift of a swaddled up puffy faced baby that had been kicking me from the inside out for the previous 9 months. Today I got relief and a touch of gloom. I know the answers to the questions I have been asking. My most perfect GYN speculated it and confirmed that I have Adenomyosis and several other uteran problems. Good news is I am not crazy!! The pains were coming from somewhere even though all my previous tests showed nothing at all.

Apparently my 9 lb 2 oz, 11 lb 1 oz, and 8 lb 12 oz babies did a number on my uterus and the 3 c-sections just topped it off. I have a little cocktail of problems all of which have 1 solution to remain pain free and that is a hysterectomy. I know this is getting way personal and maybe TMI, but as stated in my other post, this is me, and I have nothing to hide. I think sharing stuff like this not only lets me vent, but my readers relate. Relate to me as a person and to the possible similarties we may share in my various personal stories, and those similarities just may make someone feel less lost or alone when they encounter the same issues.

Back to the big H. I have yet to chat with my doc personally. I have been floating in and out of drug enduced sleepiness and a high that can battle most of my college days all day. Finally now, whatever they gave me at the hospital has begun to wear off and I am on a more realistic pain reliever. My hubby relayed what bits and pieces he could recall (why are men SO terrible at relaying a convo??), but the end result without all the gorey details is still the big H. I was prepared (sorta) for this. I did the late night internet researches on billions of websites all telling me the same things. So I knew that this may be what I was going to encounter today. It has yet to hit me too hard…prolly cause of the drugs!! But I do know that even though I do not need anymore kiddos, and my body is definitely done with growing them, that I am the type of person that likes all my parts. They are mine, I like owning them, I like making attempts at caring for them, and when someone says I have to give something up, broken or not…it kinda bothers me! So the control freak (that we discovered in the other post) is really having a hard time with that. I know I will get over it, and the more information and details I get from my doc will solidify the need to do it, but today, and probably tomorrow…it will not be a super easy thing to accept.

Thank you to each and everyone of you that has sent me well wishes, prayers, and love. I appreciate you all for it. I have such an amazing network of family, friends and clients (some I only know virtually) and I am gratefull everyday to each and everyone of you! My chin is up…I will conquer this as I conquer everything else in my life and appreciate you all listening to my vent.

My latest little pillow.